For decades, I tried every fad diet based on deprivation or "tricking" my body into losing weight, only to regain more each time. I struggled with willpower, guilt, and confusion about what to eat, believing that if I wasn’t restricting, I wasn’t being healthy—and that being thin meant being healthy. I felt helpless. I knew I was the only one who had control over my actions, so I also felt lost and on an island by myself with no one to get support from. No one in my family had a weight problem, and having a weight problem meant you lacked will power and were unhealthy. Many of my family members were just as concerned about their own health/weight; they were just 'better' at it—or so I thought. We all had the same beliefs about health and weight, what was 'right' and what wasn’t. Family and friends over the years have tried to be supportive but having all the same understandings about health and never having walked in my shoes there was only so much support they could give. Having a weight problem consumed my life. 

As a teenager and into adulthood I often avoided situations where I would have to sit for fear I wouldn’t be able to get up. I also avoided going places that had stairs. I was embarrassed when I had to take the elevator because I couldn’t physically handle the stairs. I thought, 'I’m too young to feel this weak.”

Throughout my life, people—children and adults alike—have felt free to make disparaging comments to me and loudly behind my back about my weight. There are a few moments that have stuck with me over the years because they made such a big impact on my thoughts and feelings about myself. 

I remember when I was young, maybe around 10 years old, a person who was overweight parked in a handicapped space in a store parking lot, and one of the adults I was with mumbled that 'being overweight wasn’t a handicap.' There was so much disgust in the tone of their voice. Were they also disgusted by me? Were they embarrassed of me?

In 2018 at age 44, I took my niece and nephews to the Children’s Museum. A little boy came up to me and innocently asked why my belly was so big. Oh wow! I was triggered—not with anger but shame. Then it dawned on me... the kids were getting to the age where they might ask the same innocent question. As they got older and got into school, would they have to deal with hearing people say things about their auntie? Would they be embarrassed of me? I was so unhealthy; how could I ever be a role model for them? I was desperate and felt so out of control, like I was on a downward spiral. I thought having gastric bypass was the only way I could lose weight and that I would finally be “fixed”. I had surgery in December 2018. Flash forward, I lost 120 lbs and still had at least 80 more, then I started gaining weight. Another thing I failed at!

Turning 50 freaked me out from a hormone standpoint. In doing research I found that the chronic fatigue and headaches I was experiencing as well as other issues were all symptoms of hormonal changes. It's a common belief that slower metabolism, weight gain, and hot flashes just came with getting old… so everything I already had going on was going to get worse?  That’s not quality of life! During a 5-day challenge, I learned that not addressing my energy level and hormones to name a few were what kept me trapped in the weight loss cycle. My biggest pain points—especially my inability to lose weight without regaining it—were all due to daily blood sugar dysregulation, which kept me stuck on “pain island.” Now I am not diabetic, not even pre-diabetic. So this was a new and different perspective than I had ever heard.  I believe that the way one loses weight was the way to maintain it. This means finding a diet that I could turn into a lifestyle—a daunting task for someone who had been dieting for decades and was still looking for the secret sauce. However, the challenge also talked about sustainability and how our purpose on earth was not to search for the perfect “diet” Those five days introduced me to the 100 days of 1%. I had learned so much that challenged what I thought I knew about being healthy. I started the 100 days of 1% on July 1st. I was shocked that I didn’t have to change anything the first week during prep week. It gave me a chance to prepare myself and my kitchen for what was to come. During that week, I had daily mini-lessons that helped me prepare for the jumpstart. By the end of week 2, I knew that I had found something completely different. This worked on serving my body and my soul with nutrition, hydration, stress, sleep, supplements, and movement 1% at a time. When the opportunity came up in August to become a certified coach, I knew I had to learn more. Because of the changes I have seen since July, I know I can help a lot of people who feel trapped in a cycle of restriction, deprivation, and shame. I am now certified to guide others toward true, sustainable health, one small step at a time. Now, I have confidence I have never felt before. Not because I have hit a “goal” but because I know what I'm doing is right, correct, and healthy, enabling me to live a long, healthy life.